Okay. So maybe most of us have adapted this. We have done it this year, last year, the year before it and even the years forget-me-not. We read about how to best choose the things we need to improve on. We have applied what we read and have decided what to commit changing for those years. We’ve started progress on our goals, but unfortunately, we have failed. We committed again the following New Year, but again we failed. Perhaps we may be able to say that we’ve made failures even more than FailBlog.org could ever blog about. Just joking!

So what could have possibly caused this failure, or are New Year’s Resolutions nothing but pointless pandemic tradition? Why keep on making commitments or writing a long list of goals if you will just fail in the end?

The Resolution

If you are one of those people fond of New Year’s Resolutions but keep on failing, then maybe there’s something you’re missing. As for me, the better New Year’s Resolution for you is not to commit to any at all, not anymore. You’re just keeping a list of all your failures! Now, don’t get me wrong there.

I mean why wait for the next year — the new year to come — before you make any commitments to improve on something especially on yourself, on your habits, and on your lifestyle. Life should be lived and improved constantly and continuously up until the end and should not be segmented and stunted to specific time frames.

Yes, setting of goals involves time frames, and goals without time frames are merely dreams or ambitions. But these goals should be coupled with implementation, and most importantly evaluation and re-evaluation. This is the part where most stumble upon. Self evaluation or introspection should be done not only in the beginning when deciding for the goals to commit to. It is most importantly done throughout the whole process.

Evaluation and re-evaluation is the fuel that keeps you going towards your goals. When you evaluate and re-evaluate yourself, you will be enlightened of the things that cause a step or a leap forward, and most especially of the things that keep you pinned on the track, things that give you a step backward, or things that direct you to a different track. Knowing these things will help you set sub-goals within your major goals. You may set sub-sub goals to remove the things blocking your way, restitute the things you left out when you fall behind the track, or create things that will help you get back on the track.

You must evaluate yourself not on where you currently are in contrast with where you intend to go. Instead, you must evaluate yourself against where you were at before you began the implementation of your goals. Honestly think of how you have improved or how you are better than when you started. These, together with setting sub-goals, will prevent you from being discouraged. These will help you to push through especially during the difficult phases of the process.

And lastly, you must do all of these things with pure intent and desire of really improving yourself. Who are you fooling in setting up goals which you don’t intend to or you don’t have the determination to achieve? No one but you. People like good people. People love even better the people who strive to be better than how they currently are. People hate hypocrites. Stop fooling yourself. You’re not impressing anyone. Prove that those list of goals are not just empty words.

Just do it. And do it continuously.

Secondly, we also know that even if a car is in a perfect working order and even if its tank is full of gasoline, still nothing can happen if the battery doesn’t lend a little spark to start the whole process going. The car won’t move a bit. And this is simply because of a non-existent spark.

And thirdly, we also know that most of the sailing ships use anchors to steady themselves on rough seas or during a storm, and that these anchors are connected to the ship by a large chain. But what if one of the links within the chain is substandard? What do you think might happen when the anchor is lowered down for the very first time or when a storm comes? Surely, the chain will be broken and the anchor will be left to rust under the sea, and the ship be washed away by the waves. And this is because of a single weak link within the chain.

A degree short, a non-existent spark, a weak link. Isn’t it very bothersome and dismaying to fail just because of a very minute thing that has gone wrong? There are lots of little things we take for granted that could have made our performance in school, in work, and in our families a whole lot better. Rethink.

Search the web and you’ll find lots of tips about it. But most of them, of course, pertain to how you are going to layout your content, how to decide the color palette that you’ll be using, how to incorporate graphics to your pages, how to design your logo, and how to increase the page rank of your weblog.

Trust me when I say that all of these won’t work without the tips that I am about to divulge to you. Don’t be deceived by the headings. It isn’t that fancy as you might expect it to be, but you’ll get the point.

The Mark-up

Codes. There are certain things that you need to take into consideration when blogging. Not only must you ensure the validity of your source code to the standard markup specifications and that your mark up are search-engine optimized, you must also follow principles and certain code of ethics when posting to your blogs.

Discussing blog ethics comprehensively can be very tedious. But let me mention some things that you should be doing and the things that you should be guarding yourself from committing.

• Besides the fact that Google crawlers hate content duplicates, plagiarism is punishable by law in many countries. It is better to have no blog updates than to copy someone else’s work. It is not prohibited to cite someone’s words. Just make sure you inform your readers who was the person behind that great idea and possibly a link to where that specific idea can be found.
• The truthfulness of everything you post is a necessity. Veracity is most often violated by people in the web. Not only that this will ensure a good standing in your online presence, this will also protect your dignity as a blogger and as a person. By the way, who would want to read a compilation of lies?
• Your prospect readers will be spending a portion of their time reading your blog updates. Why not make them aware of the policy to which you adhere in making your write-ups? They have the right to know in which part of your posts are facts, opinions, or advertisements. You should provide at least a disclosure policy somewhere in your blog.

Head. Just like the head of our HTML source codes containing the title and keywords of that page, you should also have in your own mind what you are posting in your online journal.

You must be sure, especially when dealing with potentially debatable topics, that you really did your homework, that is, you did research and that you really understand what you will be writing about.

You must be a master yourself of the topics you want to blog about. Search-engine crawlers do retain these keywords in their databases as does your readers retain what they have read from your blogs. You don’t want to cause misinformation or confusion.

Body. According to man’s physiology, a human cannot survive without the brain and the heart. Since you already have the brains in your chosen topics, then there is only one thing left, your heart. You must put your heart to whatever you are doing, including blogging. A blog post written with passion will come a greater way than that which is not.

Don’t post about things you would not like to just because you were told to do so.

Strong Tags.Whatever you post in your blogs can be possibly seen by the whole world. You must have a strong conviction that what you have written is correct. People might despise you for it but if you are sure of what you have told the world, then you have nothing to worry about. Just like your good ol’ <strong> tags, assure your readers with your conviction to the validity of what you’re telling them.

Emphasis Tags. Early life of the HTML involves the use of <i> tags. But with the newer version of a more semantically structured language, it is replaced with the <em> tag. This imposes a good analogy to what your attitude should be when writing your posts.

Truly, blogs started as nothing but a personal journal made online. But not any more. Now, it isn’t always about <I>. You must think about your audience. You must give <emphasis> to them. Ask your self what they want to read. If you can do this, then not only you will be keeping them, you will also be attracting more readers to come to your blogs.

Accessibility

I’m not talking here about the accessibility of your pages to the disabled. Better if you do, but what I am trying to say is that you as the person behind the blog must be accessible. You must make sure that your readers can keep in touch with you.

I know the vastness of the work responding to every comment or emails you receive each day. Just tell them, and surely, they will understand. But never hide yourself behind the cloak of anonymity while doing detrimental things to your fellow blogger or person.

The Design

Logo. A logo is a visual identity of an entity and, in this case, you. Like a logo does, make it clear what you and what you are not. Be yourself, and don’t be a hypocrite. Surely your reader will love you for who you are and for your honesty about yourself. Isn’t it better to be loved for who you are than for who you are not?

Colors. Be creative! Give each of your post a color to describe. Life itself is colorful. This will prevent your blog from being dull and your readers from being bored. Incorporating variety of feelings to your writings will surely keep your readership.

Space. Last but not the least, make room for your reader to breathe. Enable your comment forms and open your end of the line and mind. Listen to and respect what they are saying. Don’t delete comments because they are against your views. You have your imperfections. Learn to know and change them. There is always room for improvement.

I know that if you do all of these, your blog will not be just another pretty blog. But what I don’t is what’s in your mind about keeping your blogs better. Please, speak up! The comment form is enabled for you.

But there are small things, we tend to forget. And they come smaller and smaller each time. We fail to notice that most of us are facing the wrath of the light-weight, and portable gadgets of ours.

We live at a time when technology is very rich, useful, and engaging. We use it to replicate and augment reality, and also create virtual reality. This, itself, is not bad at all. An astronaut can simulate the outer space environment and practice whatever the things he needs to do in a real outer space. In our case, a virtual assistant can work with his client without the need to be geographically beside him.

We also use technology for easier communication and for a more organized way of living. We use our mobile phones to communicate with our loved ones who are far from us. We also use our PDA’s to keep us updated and organized with our meetings. We also have our laptops with us to keep our documents neatly piled and be easier to work with.

I don’t deny these benefits that we derive from our present technology. What I am trying to emphasize is the way we make use of these advance gadgets. Some of us most likely don’t notice it, but are already addicted.

A professor of Northampton University, who conducted a research about how widespread technology addiction is, found that one-third of the 360 study subjects became addicted. He said:

You would be surprised how many people had their PDA or Blackberry next to their bed heads

Prof Kakabadse, Northampton University

These things are developed to help us have an easier and more convenient way of life. They are not created to replace reality and our loved ones.

It’s not only the big ones we should be watching out. We also need to be warned with these cute and cuddly dwarves that can potentially harm us.

Sufficient planning is the key. But planning for the right gift for everyone is such a dirty work. It’s very hard finding the perfect match. How much more trouble could it be looking for the best present you will give your special someone? You might want to ask yourself the following while shopping for that best gift for your loved one.

Is this romantic?

The more effort you have given to come up with your gift, the greater will be the appreciation you will receive. For a gift to be expensive usually don’t give much value to it. What matters is the thought and the feeling that comes with the package.

Be creative! Who says you’re only allowed to give one gift to him/her? Try cooking him/her a breakfast in the morning with three flowers beside his/her plate before he/she wakes up, prepare for a picnic for noon, and bake a birthday cake in the evening.

Reciprocate the gifts he/she has given you previously. If he has showered you with flowers, chocolates and stuffed toys, then why not give him the same. If she has given you a new pair of jeans, a jacket, or a tie, then try giving her a dress. Surely, you will be remembered for doing such.

Does he/she want this?

Most people will find a gift more valuable if it’s something they really wanted or needed. You might want to think of the things your partner is most passionate about. If she’s into reading romantic books, then give her the book she wanted but has never read before. If he’s into gadgets, then buy him a portable music player.

Is this unique?

It’s a rule never to give the same gift you have given him/her the previous year. Prevent from giving the traditional gifts. But if you have no choice or you have already bought her/him one, then couple that with another.

Does this say what I wanted to say to him/her?

A simple card with all the messages your heart desires him/her to know will be very good. Else, give him/her a bracelet with a simple note telling him/her how special he/she is.

Go ask another person close to him/her. If he/she has a best friend, ask him/her. Team up with his /her parents. They might know things you don’t. Involve them with the gift if you like. You might want to ask them to give your shower of gifts at specified time of the day or as they meet him/her. Then give the best of all your gifts at Christmas time!

Christmas presents don’t necessarily have to be expensive. They don’t even have to be material things (perhaps I’ll be talking more about this on Christmas). As long as you couple your gift with gestures of love everyday, then the message will be sent. By the way, don’t forget to tell him/her those three words!

The way the author told the journey of Santiago was very engaging that I was able to read the whole novel in less than half-a-day. But the novel contains far greater substance than its plot. It conveys a very nice message that each of us can apply in our own lives. This message centers on the following as quoted from the Alchemist:

when you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true

That is a very strong and very inspiring message. But permit me to partially disagree with the Alchemist. I said partially disagree because, in my humble opinion, there is this missing piece in that philosophy by the Alchemist. He forgot to take into consideration the most important element that achievement of goals and aspirations require, that is, the will of God. But, of course, he is right that perseverance is also needed for reaching our dreams.

People are too crazy of being independent. They forget to consult their Creator on what He likes them to be or to do. The Almighty said to lean not on our own understanding. When we learn to trust the Lord with all our endeavours and learn to accept His will for us, then, that’s the only perfect time that the whole universe conspires to help us attain the greater happiness at store.

What I do want to share is what have helped me during those trying times. I know that this is not new to everyone. But if someone who’s currently undergoing such dilemma in his life stumbles on this, just like it did to me, I know and I hope, this will lessen the hopelessness that he is suffering.

There is this song composed and written by Rob Gardner entitled My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee that I want you to hear (actually, watch).

The first time I heard this song was last September 2008 when I attended a fireside live via satellite in which Elder Jeffrey R. Holland was the speaker. The video you have watched was the last part of that fireside. If you are interested you might want to  listen (MP3, 21.6 MB), watch (WMV, 106 MB |  MP4, 291 MB) or read (HTML |  PDF, 292 KB) the whole message of Elder Holland.

Everyone faces trying times. But we must always remember that God haven’t and will never abandon us. Just continue pressing on. Be of good faith and pray always. His kindness will never depart from us.

For all of you using dial-up or slower type of connection you might want to check out the complete words of the song:

For a little while
Have I forsaken thee;
But with great mercies will I gather thee.
In a little wrath I hid my face from thee
For a moment.

But with everlasting kindness will I gather thee,
And with mercy will I take thee ‘neath my wings,
For the mountains shall depart,
And the hills shall be removed,
And the valleys shall be lost beneath the sea,
But know, my child,
My kindness shall not depart from thee!

Though thine afflictions seem
At times too great to bear,
I know thine every thought and every care.
And though the very jaws
Of hell gape after thee I am with thee.

And with everlasting mercy will I succor thee,
And with healing will I take thee ‘neath my wings.
Though the mountains shall depart,
And the hills shall be removed,
And the valleys shall be lost beneath the sea,
Know, my child,
My kindness shall not depart from thee!

How long can rolling waters
Remain impure?
What pow’r shall stay the hand of God?
The Son of Man hath descended below all things.
Art thou greater than He?

So hold on thy way,
For I shall be with thee.
And mine angels shall encircle thee.
Doubt not what thou knowest,
Fear not man, for he
Cannot hurt thee.

And with everlasting kindness will I succor thee,
And with mercy will I take thee ‘neath my wings.
For the mountains shall depart,
And the hills shall be removed,
And the valleys shall be lost beneath the sea,
But know, my child,
My kindness shall not depart from thee!

I hope you were enlightened with this post and by the song. Thanks for sticking around!

But what aggravates this is when you think that what you should be coming up with must outshine other’s works, or worse, that it should be the greatest among all the works you’ve ever done yet. If you are thinking this way, then you might want to take this abridged perfectionism test.

Is Being Perfectionist Good?

I remember when I was in an interview many months ago. The HR representative asked me what greatest weakness that I have. My brain stopped dead because I have just answered her previous question about what my greatest strength is with same answer, “I think I’m a perfectionist.”

I have seen perfectionism as both strength and weakness during that interview. Later on, I tried to ponder on it. Then, I realized that it is nothing but a weakness.

Being perfectionist is unreasonable in the strictest sense. You put unnecessary burden to yourself preventing you from coming up with an output.

This doesn’t mean that you will half-heartedly do your tasks, though. This implies that you must set achievable goals, learn how to be satisfied and appreciative, and not to focus on the negative aspects of your life or your work — be optimistic, but not too much. Surely, the world will be a happier and productive place for you. I’m sure about this. I did.